unloveable.

Oh ...
I know I'm unloveable
You don't have to tell me
I don't have much in my life
But take it - it's yours
I don't have much in my life
But take it - it's yours
Oh ...

I know I'm unloveable
You don't have to tell me
Oh, message received
Loud and clear
Loud and clear
I don't have much in my life
But take it - it's yours


I know I'm unloveable
You don't have to tell me
For message received
Loud and clear
Loud and clear
Message received
I don't have much in my life
But take it - it's yours


I wear Black on the outside
'Cause Black is how I feel on the inside
I wear Black on the outside
'Cause Black is how I feel on the inside


And if I seem a little strange
Well, that's because I am
If I seem a little strange
That's because I am


But I know that you would like me
If only you could see me
If only you could meet me


Oh ...
I don't have much in my life
But take it - it's yours
I don't have much in my life
But take it - it's yours
Mmm ...
Oh ... 

sylvia.

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell’s fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan’s men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you’d return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

Mad girls love song. Sylvia Plath

to the backbone.

schön und unverbindlich.

there’s a look on your face i would like to knock out
see the sin in your grin and the shape of your mouth
all i want is to see you in terrible pain
though we won’t ever meet i remember your name

can’t believe you were once just like anyone else
then you grew and became like the devil himself
pray to god i can think of a nice thing to say
but i don’t think i can so fuck you anyway

you are scum, you are scum and I hope that you know
that the cracks in your smile are beginning to show
now the world needs to see that it’s time you should go
there’s no light in your eyes and your brain is too slow

can’t believe you were once just like anyone else
then you grew and became like the devil himself
pray to god i can think of a nice thing to say
but i don’t think i can, so fuck you anyway

bet you sleep like a child with your thumb in your mouth
i could creep up beside put a gun in your mouth
makes me sick when i hear all the shit that you say
so much crap coming out it must take you all day
there’s a space kept in hell with your name on the seat
with a spike in the chair just to make it complete
when you look at yourself do you see what i see
if you do why the fuck are you looking at me

why the fuck why the fuck are you looking at me

there’s a time for us all and i think yours has been
can you please hurry up 'cos i find you obscene
we can’t wait for the day that you’re never around
when that face isn’t here and you rot underground

can’t believe you were once just like anyone else
then you grew and became like the devil himself
pray to god i can think of a nice thing to say
but I don’t think i can so fuck you anyway

your darkness is shining...

my darkness is shining!

the big black one.

‎"im zusammenhang mit dir würde ich doch niemals das wort "herz" verwenden.
du weißt doch, was sich bei dir an der stelle befindet."

sie klebt.

http://www.thisisjanewayne.com/news/2011/07/26/die-sache-mit-der-scheise-am-schuh-der-hoffnungslosen/

7hours. 15 days.

and now i know why it was that hard. yesterday. 8 pm.

one month ago.

"not tragic... it's love. it's us, our story."

best night of my life. worst one now.

selbstlos.selbstvoll.

"wenn ich einen menschen wahrhaftig liebe,
so liebe ich alle menschen,
so liebe ich die welt,
so liebe ich das leben."

erich fromm

also beherrsche dich nicht.

"l'amour est l'enfant de la liberté."

französisches kinderlied.

immer und immer wieder.

das beste buch aller zeiten.

will it?

don't lie to me
don't make it up
don't snake it up
don't snake it up
my friend

stay with me
lay with me
be true to me
be true to me my love

now i'm young
i got nothing to lose
i'm gonna follow
i'm following my muse

you're the older one
you're older by now
you're one got some
you're one got some to prove

well it's only me
it's only me now
i cannot change you
but time will
my heart it will
not stand still

i cannot hold
a half a life
i cannot be
at half a wife

time won't let us stop.

swim in circles.

test failed.

result: not lovable.


great.

von den guten und den bösen.

sie fühlen noch.
sie lieben.
sie leiden.
sie gehen zugrunde.
diese guten.

die anderen -
sie sind stumpf geworden.
diese bösen.
sie sind schon längst zugrunde gegangen.
in lethargie.

und so fällt die entscheidung
immer wieder auf das gute.
nicht der liebe wegen. oder des schmerzes.
es ist die neugierde,
die mich antreibt.

sie hat ihn wieder rausgeholt.

perfection.

if u don't have it. and even they haven't got it anymore.
it's good to know, that there is something like exactly this.

onom.

m
mono mono mono mono
monoton
mono mono mono mono
monophon
mono mono mono mono
monogam
mono mono mono mono
monolahm?
o no

amazon love.

that one minute we see and the next we don't
in our minds in the devil's long tail
slapping sense to its peak and a hard strung out weak
and sold back to the love in our sails