unloveable.

Oh ...
I know I'm unloveable
You don't have to tell me
I don't have much in my life
But take it - it's yours
I don't have much in my life
But take it - it's yours
Oh ...

I know I'm unloveable
You don't have to tell me
Oh, message received
Loud and clear
Loud and clear
I don't have much in my life
But take it - it's yours


I know I'm unloveable
You don't have to tell me
For message received
Loud and clear
Loud and clear
Message received
I don't have much in my life
But take it - it's yours


I wear Black on the outside
'Cause Black is how I feel on the inside
I wear Black on the outside
'Cause Black is how I feel on the inside


And if I seem a little strange
Well, that's because I am
If I seem a little strange
That's because I am


But I know that you would like me
If only you could see me
If only you could meet me


Oh ...
I don't have much in my life
But take it - it's yours
I don't have much in my life
But take it - it's yours
Mmm ...
Oh ... 

sonntagmorgens.

die beats der nacht noch im kopf.
dröhnend.
laut.

und ohne halt.

vom glücklich sein.

nur kurz hält es an.
wie ein sturm überkommt es mich.
nur kurz hält es an.
gedanken kreisen um sich.
nur kurz hält es an.
das warme gefühl.
die wohlige stimmung.
alles andere als kühl.
sie baut sich auf - die erwartung.
aber nur kurz hält es an.
und wie es begann
so entschwann
es mir.

sylvia.

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell’s fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan’s men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you’d return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

Mad girls love song. Sylvia Plath

rainbow girl.

monday she feels sad and blue
so she tries to find the same colour shoe
tuesday is fake so she stays in her bed
with a lipstick she paints a smile big and red

rainbow girl rainbow girl

wedensday she feels lack of hope
so she washes away depression with soap
thursday she feels down and mellow
this dress shows her chest it's so fine and it's yellow
friday it's the peak of the week
in the mirror rehearsals of being discreet
saturday she's dancing around with grace
sunday black mascara is running down her face

rainbow girl rainbow girl
every day of the week rainbow girl
rainbow girl rainbow girl
everyday she is so weak rainbow girl
rainbow girl rainbow girl
it rains with tears on her cheek rainbow girl
rainbow girl rainbow girl

to the backbone.

schön und unverbindlich.

there’s a look on your face i would like to knock out
see the sin in your grin and the shape of your mouth
all i want is to see you in terrible pain
though we won’t ever meet i remember your name

can’t believe you were once just like anyone else
then you grew and became like the devil himself
pray to god i can think of a nice thing to say
but i don’t think i can so fuck you anyway

you are scum, you are scum and I hope that you know
that the cracks in your smile are beginning to show
now the world needs to see that it’s time you should go
there’s no light in your eyes and your brain is too slow

can’t believe you were once just like anyone else
then you grew and became like the devil himself
pray to god i can think of a nice thing to say
but i don’t think i can, so fuck you anyway

bet you sleep like a child with your thumb in your mouth
i could creep up beside put a gun in your mouth
makes me sick when i hear all the shit that you say
so much crap coming out it must take you all day
there’s a space kept in hell with your name on the seat
with a spike in the chair just to make it complete
when you look at yourself do you see what i see
if you do why the fuck are you looking at me

why the fuck why the fuck are you looking at me

there’s a time for us all and i think yours has been
can you please hurry up 'cos i find you obscene
we can’t wait for the day that you’re never around
when that face isn’t here and you rot underground

can’t believe you were once just like anyone else
then you grew and became like the devil himself
pray to god i can think of a nice thing to say
but I don’t think i can so fuck you anyway

"hör auf zu töten, was nicht dir gehört." n.v.d.

autsch.

es zieht und ruckelt und reißt an mir
es schneidet und zerfetzt mich
wie ein wildes tier.

es blutet
dunkel und rot
gefährlich wie tod

nicht das herz, nein, ließ ich mir rauben.
nur mein stolz musste dran glauben.

wirr und traurig und wütend und abgefahren.

um kreise kreisen.
immer wieder
versuchen wände einzureißen.

raus und rein
rein und raus
micky maus

rauf und runter
runter und rauf
sauf den dreck, sauf

im rechteck springen
immer wieder
sich selbst bezwingen.

still.stand.

und nichts geht mehr.

die leiter.

hinaufsteigen.
ein leben lang.
sprosse um sprosse.
hinauf zur glückseligkeit.
die mitte erreicht.
es geht weiter.
glück gefunden.
weiter hinauf.
ständig wieder fallen.
nie zurück zur mitte.

immer auf den boden.

hell yeah!

7hours. 15 days.

and now i know why it was that hard. yesterday. 8 pm.

hallucination.

why should he come back through the park?
you thought that you saw him but no you did not
it's not him who'd come across
the sea to surprise you
not him who would know
where in berlin to find you

with sadness so real that it populates
the city and leaves you homeless again
steam from the cup and snow on the path
the seasons have changed from present to past

the past
turns whole to half
the past

why should he come back through the park?
you thought that you saw him but no you did not
who can be sure of anything through
the distance that keeps you
from knowing the truth

why would you think your boy could become
the man who could make you sure he was the one?

"the park", feist

excess baggage.

it's not easy to hide. all the damage inside.

the wine.

helping out

helping that
the sorrow will pass
handling the mass
handling the pain
handling going insane

giving so much
but doesn't give a touch
doesn't give feeling
doesn't give healing

maybe for a short time
that i think at least
this is mine.

oh sadness, i'm your girl.

the wise mister morissey.

as i live and breathe
you have killed me
you have killed me
yes i walk around somehow
but you have killed me
you have killed me

and there is no point saying this again
there is no point saying this again
but i forgive you, i forgive you
always i do forgive you.

seulment l'oublier.

ma chambre a la forme d'une cage
le soleil passe son bras par la fenêtre
les chasseurs à ma porte
comme les p'tits soldats
qui veulent me prendre

je ne veux pas travailler
je ne veux pas déjeuner
je veux seulement l'oublier
et puis je fume

déjà j'ai connu le parfum de l'amour
un million de roses n'embaumerait pas autant
maintenant une seule fleur dans mes entourages
me rend malade

je ne veux pas travailler
je ne veux pas déjeuner
je veux seulement l'oublier
et puis je fume

je ne suis pas fière de ça
vie qui veut me tuer
c'est magnifique être sympathique
mais je ne le connais jamais

je ne veux pas travailler
non
je ne veux pas déjeuner
je veux seulement l'oublier
et puis je fume

je ne suis pas fière de ça
vie qui veut me tuer
c'est magnifique être sympathique
mais je ne le connais jamais

je ne veux pas travailler
non
je ne veux pas déjeuner
je veux seulement l'oublier
et puis je fume